Smiley Read online

She is looking up at me with her large eyes, and I can tell that she is still scared. I sit down on the couch, reach behind me, and grab a small blanket that I bought for Mia, and I wrap it around her. Rocking side to side, I sing to her. I want another baby; I want a baby of my own. Maybe someday I will adopt one. So many kids in this world need a home.

  Little by little, her eyes drift closed. I settle further back into the couch so she will be more comfortable. Around thirty minutes later she wakes up, ready to play. I sit down on the floor with her, and we play with blocks.

  Around an hour later, Butcher and Shaylin come back into the room. Tiana is smiling and laughing loudly. There is nothing better than hearing a child’s joy.

  The door bursts open once again and, at a moment’s notice, I am ready to snatch up Tiana and run with her. Two massive guys charge into the room, and the older one pulls Shaylin into a hug. I guess that is her dad, and the younger version is her brother, who is the current president of the Grim Sinners MC. Shaylin whispers something to him. Butcher walks out of the room and the two guys follow him, leaving me and Shaylin alone. She picks up Tiana, and I smile at her. “She is such a sweet child. I will watch her anytime.”

  Tiana starts playing with Shaylin’s hair. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. I have to go back to work in a week or so.”

  “Call me and let me know.” I stand up, smiling at her, loving the prospect of having another one to look after.

  The club pays me a salary that is more than enough for me to live on comfortably and, during the day, I watch the kids here at the club or in their homes.

  The older guy, who I am assuming is Shaylin’s dad, walks back into the room and looks at his phone. I am struck by how unbelievably beautiful he is. He is a silver fox, massive and covered in tattoos. He has scruff on his face, and his hands are so large that his phone looks puny in his grip. My face feels hot just being in the room with this man. “Shaylin, my truck is outside,” he says.

  “Okay.”

  He looks up from his phone, directly at me. His eyes widen and he stumbles. I jump in shock and look at Shaylin, who is staring at her dad with a weird smile on her face. He grins at her.

  He stands directly in front of me. “I am taking you out tonight.”

  I gape at him. Did he just say what I think he did? I don’t say a word; I just stare at him in absolute shock because I certainly didn’t expect this.

  He takes my phone from my pocket. He types something and his phone starts ringing. “Text me your address, gorgeous.” He smiles at me, and my stomach twists.

  I start to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. I just nod because I have no clue what to say or do. He walks away, telling Shaylin that he will be at the truck.

  I stare at him, still in shock. “What just happened?” I ask Shaylin.

  She shakes her head, looking as surprised as I am. “You just got Smileyed.”

  I sit on the couch, trying to wrap my head around this. Shaylin tells me bye and leaves me alone.

  A bit later Alisha walks into the room. “Mom, are you okay?” she asks, sitting down beside me. I blink a few times, scared out of my mind and, honestly, kind of excited. “I was just asked out on a date.”

  Her eyes widen and she smiles. “By who?”

  “Smiley, Shaylin’s dad.”

  She laughs. “Mom, he is gorgeous! We need to go shopping and pick out a new outfit.”

  “I am supposed to text him my address.”

  Alisha takes my phone out of my hand and starts texting away. “There, I told him your address and asked where you guys are going because we need to know what to dress for.” She claps her hands in excitement.

  Can you believe this will be my first real date? I never expected it would be with a man who looks like that. He is just gorgeous and way out of my league.

  Smiley

  For the first time in my life, a woman just about put me right on my ass. I never expected to see someone like her standing right in fucking front of me.

  My phone buzzes and I see that it’s a text from her, giving me her address and asking where we are going.

  My whole life has been dedicated to taking care of my kids and the members of my club. I was with Shaylin and Lane’s mom years and years ago, but we were never in love. Lane was an accident, but we got together and then, a year later, we had Shaylin. There hasn’t been anyone else since then; no one has caught my eye until today. She is the most beautiful fucking woman I have ever seen. She has this fucking glow; she is just gorgeous.

  I can tell instantly that she is Alisha’s mother; I don’t know why I haven’t heard of her before.

  “I hope you guys hit it off, Dad. You deserve to have someone in your life,” Shaylin tells me, and I reach over and muss up the top of her hair.

  Shaylin is my little girl. The moment she came into my life, everything changed. I wanted to protect and shelter her from the world, so I did what I could to make sure that she could protect herself.

  Lane is a mini-fucking-me. I watched him turn into a man overnight once he become a teenager. He did everything he could to earn the respect of the Grim Sinners. He may have inherited the spot of president, but he earned it.

  I retired a few years ago as president, and I spent years riding around the country with my brothers. Five of my brothers and I have been in the club since the beginning. They were younger than me, but we had fought together in a war.

  Conventional jobs weren’t for us, and we missed the brotherhood of being soldiers together. We decided to start a motorcycle club and take on protection jobs and other shit like that. Then we decided to invest in a few businesses and now, many years later, we have around seventy businesses all over the country.

  My daughter, against my fucking will, decided to date the only man who is not afraid of me. I don’t fucking want her to get married; I want her to be my little girl for as long as I can fucking have her. But she had to go and get a motherfucking MC guy, the meanest one in the fucking club. I have tried not to like him, but he loves my daughter and would protect her with his life.

  It could be a lot fucking worse; he could be a pussy.

  Family is what fucking matters most.

  Adeline

  My stomach is in complete and utter knots. He is going to be here any minute, and I am scared out of my mind. Terrified is a more accurate way to describe it. The carpet in my living room is going to have holes in it from my pacing in front of the door.

  This is a huge moment for me; I have never been on a date before. What if I do something wrong? Say something wrong? How do I even act on a date? What is the correct etiquette? I don’t know.

  What if he kisses me? Do I even know how to properly kiss? I have only kissed one person in my life, Alisha’s dad, and we barely kissed.

  What if he expects sex? Can I even do that? I close my eyes, trying to stop the thoughts thundering through my head.

  A loud knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts. He is here. I shake out my hands, which are numb from clenching them so hard. I look through the peephole to make sure it is him. My hand settles on the doorknob and I close my eyes, attempting to collect myself. Before I can hesitate any more, I take the bull by the horns and open the door.

  Smiley grins at me, looking me up and down, slowly studying every curve. I have put on a bit of weight. Before, I was underweight, and now I feel comfortable about being a bit on the thick side. It’s better than being half starved.

  I am wearing a pair of blue jeans, sandals, and a white cold shoulder top. My hair is down in waves over my shoulders and back. My makeup is light, enhancing my eyes.

  “You’re fucking gorgeous,” he says.

  I am not used to a man being so direct with his thoughts.

  “Ready?” he says.

  I nod and step out the door, locking it behind me. Smiley watches my every move. I lick my lips and sneak a glance at him. He catches me looking and smiles, and
my face burns. He puts his hand on the small of my back, and we walk out to his truck. How can I even get in? It’s huge.

  He opens the passenger door for me and, as I try to pull myself into the vehicle, he wraps his hands around my waist and picks me up as if I were a small child. He winks and shuts the door.

  Holy crap! I stare at the roof of the truck, freaking out on the inside. When he gets in the vehicle, the smell of his cologne hits me, and it takes everything in me not to lean closer to inhale his scent. He turns on the truck, the muscles in his huge tattooed arms flexing slightly. Goodness me. I reach behind me and put on my seatbelt.

  “When did you move here?” he asks. “I haven’t seen you until today.” He looks at me for a split second and, again, I’m struck by his beauty.

  “I moved here around two years ago, a few months after my daughter got with Techy.” I say a quick prayer that he doesn’t ask about my past. I honestly don’t have any good things in my past but Alisha. I have stories of when she was little, and that is it. The rest of my life is full of bad memories, and I don’t want anyone to know that. I am ashamed, embarrassed, and sickened by it all.

  A little bit later we arrive in front of one of the nicer restaurants in town, which I haven’t had a chance to try. I really don’t have much time to myself, because I am usually with the babies. I try to keep myself as busy as possible, and I never thought dating was on my radar until Smiley. I have been asked out before, but this is the first time I said yes. You can’t say no to a man like that. First off, he is beautiful. He’s also huge, a good six-foot-four to my five-foot-three.

  “Sit here until I get your door.” As he walks around the truck, some men standing in front of the restaurant watch him. He is wearing his cut, saying he is the retired president of the Grim Sinners MC. My door opens, and he literally lifts me off my seat onto the ground. I grab his forearms, in fear of him dropping me.

  He smiles. “I would never drop you, sweetheart.”

  I smile, letting my hands fall. His hand goes to the small of my back, and he leads me toward the entrance. He stares down the men in front of the restaurant like he is daring them to do something, and he holds the door open for me.

  We are met by a hostess with two menus. “Your table is this way.” She leads us toward the back.

  “She never asked for our names,” I say.

  “I own this restaurant.”

  My mouth opens slightly; I never expected that. I know the Devil Souls MC owns a lot of businesses, and I guess the Grim Sinners have done the same.

  The hostess puts our menus on the table. We are seated in front of a huge glass window overlooking the town. “This is beautiful.” I look around the private room we are sitting in.

  “Not as beautiful as you, Adeline.” He winks and my stomach flips once again.

  I smile at him sheepishly, and his arm rests on the back of my chair, his free hand opening his menu. I push my hair over my shoulder and scan the menu, and he plays with the ends of my hair. My breathing comes out in a whoosh. I am not used to a male touching me like this: touching my back, lifting me out of the truck, stroking my hair.

  “Adeline?” His eyes connect with mine. “Relax, okay? I won’t hurt you, and I want you to be yourself with me.”

  I realize I’m sitting stiffly. I close my eyes, relax, and lean back in my chair.

  I am experienced in a lot of things, but I missed the basics. I never got to go to a real dance, fall in love, or be loved and respected. “I am sorry, this is new to me,” I confess before I second-guess myself. I have a huge fear of overthinking every word. My cheeks burn at his questioning look.

  “New to this?”

  I let out a huff, lifting my bangs off my forehead. “This is my first real date,” I blurt out, my palms sweating.

  “How old are you?” he asks.

  “Forty.”

  His eyes soften as they search my face. I am pleading with my eyes for him not to ask any more questions. “Well, I am glad I am your first.” He winks and I throw my head back, laughing. The weight is off me instantly.

  Smiley

  Fuck me. I watch her laughing, holding her stomach. Adeline is just beautiful. It glows off her and it’s intoxicating. Especially to a fucker like me who has a lot of darkness inside him.

  She fucking floored me when she said this is her first real date and she is forty years old. That shit didn’t stop me from wanting to know more—I want to know everything about her—but the look on her face stopped me from asking any more questions.

  Since the moment I picked her up for our date, she has been on edge, almost scared. But now she grins at me before looking down at the menu. When I see that smile directed at me, my heart fucking stops right in my chest. I am fucked, and this is the kind of fucked that I would take any day.

  Adeline

  Little by little my nerves are settling. He is doing everything he can to make me feel at ease and I realize, to my surprise, that I am not scared.

  During dinner, he tells me stories about his kids when they were little. He raised them by himself, and I find that admirable.

  Our food arrives. We both ordered steaks, but mine is much smaller. His takes up his whole plate. A smile tugs at my lips, and he smirks at me. “I am a big man, darlin.”

  Oh, is he ever. As I cut up my steak, I’m afraid I am blushing. I am a huge walking embarrassment when he is around, apparently. “I know,” I mumble under my breath.

  He laughs loudly and that smile, which rarely leaves his face, returns. I guess that’s exactly where he got his name.

  He leans forward. “I hope you brought your dancing shoes.”

  My dancing shoes? What does he mean?

  He takes me to a bar; one side is furnished with seats and the other is filled with people dancing.

  I shake my head. “I can’t dance.” I am scared of making a fool of myself in front of all of these people.

  He looks down at me and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You will be fine.” He lowers his head, looking deeply into my eyes.

  I close my eyes, nodding and letting out a deep breath, as I attempt to calm my nerves and just let go. I promised myself once I got my life back I was going to do things that I never had a chance to do before.

  His smile widens and he takes my hand, pulling me onto the dance floor. I smile back and follow him into the middle of the crowd. He grips my hips, spinning me around until my back is flush with his chest. I gasp, my eyes wide at the feel of his hard body pressed against me. A hand slides up to my waist and continues to my face. He pushes my hair to the side, baring my neck to him. “Ready?” he whispers, his breath fanning against my ear.

  I shiver, even though the room is very warm because of all the bodies close together. The palm of his hand rests in the middle of my stomach, and the other hand is on my hip. “Yeah,” I tell him breathlessly.

  He moves our bodies together, my stomach flipping. His fingers dig into my side, making me laugh, and he grips my hand and spins me away from him. I throw my head back, laughing; then he spins me toward him.

  He grips my hips, grinding them against his. My breath comes out rapidly, and I throw my head back, letting him dip me. He leans with me, and I can feel his breath fanning across my neck. He lifts me back up, and I am grinning. He winks, grabs my ass, and spins both of us around as we move our hips together.

  Just the feel of his hands on me makes me feel alive. The way he is looking me straight in the eye, giving me his full attention. Girls have been staring at him since the moment we walked in here, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off me. There are a lot of beautiful women here and, for the first time in a long time, I feel special.

  A slow song comes over the speakers, and he grabs my hands and pulls me against him; then he puts my arms around his neck.

  “I’ve had a lot of fun,” I confess.

  “This is just the beginning, Ade.” He makes my night with those words. I do want t
o see him again. I want to let myself spend time with him, letting go of all of my worries. I want to have fun. I want to be happy. He has given me a sliver of that, and I want more. I want to be in love like my daughter and the other members of the MC. I want to feel safe and protected. I just want a happy life. But a huge part of me thinks I don’t deserve to be happy, and I have been punishing myself tonight.

  Even when I was with my parents, I was barely tolerated. I never had a parent who gave me love or showed me affection. I am not used to touch unless I am being fucked, and there was little touching involved.

  Touching makes me uncomfortable, but god do I want it. I want to be held all night long, wake up in someone’s arms, and know that I mean the world to them and I love them. What would it be like to love someone like that? To feel that my world begins and ends with them?

  “What are you thinking about so hard?” Smiley breaks me from my deep thoughts.

  “Nothing much really.” I shrug and lay my head on his warm, hard chest.

  His hand drifts up my back and cups the back of my neck, and his other hand settles at the small of my back. I close my eyes, just basking in the feel of him. He sways side to side slowly, just holding me. I have never felt safe in my life until this moment.

  I sigh, trying to sink deeper into his embrace. The smell of him is intoxicating. I run my hands up his back, the muscles moving as he sways. Goodness, butterflies are swirling in my stomach. There’s a lump in my throat, because this is a huge moment for me. This is the first time in my life a man has taken me on a date, held me, and treated me like a queen.

  What is this life?

  Smiley

  Fuck, she is holding onto me like I am the only thing tethering her to the world. I know exactly why she was so timid and nervous when I first picked her up. She has demons and that shit is eating her up. Someone has done her wrong, and I want to fucking know who.

  She is the sweetest woman I have ever met. Just the way she looks at me makes me want to fall to the fucking ground like a pussy.

  She has this fucking vibe about her that makes me just want to be around her. It makes me want to take care of her so she never has another worry.